"The
Rules"
Inspiration and credit for this list goes to Ryugen's
mother, Barbara Briant King, who cited "The Rules" to him
when he was new in town.
1) Gautama's Law
The suffering of sickness, old age, death and rebirth are
unavoidable, all other suffering is optional.
2) The Rule of Opposites
There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that
think there are two kinds of people, and those that don't.
3) Metaphysical Truth
A Metaphysical Truth is something upon which you and I
happen to agree with which someone who is bigger or smarter
than us does not happen to disagree.
4) Gamble's Rule
When your work speaks for itself, shut up.
5) Starr's Law
Worry is interest you pay on money you didn't borrow.
6) Epitaph for A Troubadour [Gamble Rogers]
The Good Lord gave him grace, and the Devil gave him style.
7) Rule of Demand
A luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity.
8) A. Einstein's 2nd Rule of Relativity
Try not to be a person of success, but rather a person of
value.
9) Rule of Worms
Once you open a can of worms, it is impossible to get them
all back into the same sized can.
10) Lillian's Legacy
There are beings in this world whose sole function in your
life is to allow you to acquire good karma, practice
patience and build character. And sometimes they are all
too easy to find.
11) The Rule of Expectations (Mark Twain)
Expecting life to treat you "fairly" because you're a good
person is like expecting the bull NOT to charge you because
you're a vegetarian.
12) The Second Rule of Expectations
An EXPECTATION is a Premeditated resentment.
Contributed by Julia
13) Proof In Advertising
Assholes Always Advertise.
14) Rule of Just Compensation
Nobody can be paid enough for a job that politeness can be
left out or ignored. The price paid by the employer or the
employee (or both) is the loss of humanity.
15) The Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness is NOT a right, but the result of karma
(AKA:physics), effort, personal opinion and often, a
distorted view of the distant or not so distant past.
16) Rule of Cheap Lessons
The only lessons really worth learning are those that are
the most expensive.
17) Kat's Rule of Perspective
Perspective is TOTALLY USELESS when you are in the midst of
turmoil.
18) Frog's Footnote on Skillfulness
The trouble with doing something right the first time is
that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
19) Will Rogers' Rule on Civilization
No society can consider itself civilized unless it respects
the rights of others.
20) Rule of Politeness
Impoliteness, like confrontation, is sometimes an act of
violence, and it is always an act of aggression.
21) "The Platinum Rule"
Do unto yourself also as you would have others do unto you.
22) Sandburg's Solution (Carl Sandburg)
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you
have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be
careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
23) Kat's Encouragement
Flap with what you've got...
24) The Rule regarding Growing Old
Don't fret old age, it is a privilege denied to many.
25) Matthew's Reminder
Whatever you do in life, it is guaranteed that you will
provoke about 30% of the people. It is important that you
remain a part of the other 70%.
26) Judy's Rule
Forget the experience, remember the lesson.
27) Rule of Illusionary Value
Most people will sacrifice more and fight harder to protect
a valuable illusion than they will to defend an unglamorous
truth.
28) Rule of Fields (William Claude Dirkenfield - American
Philosopher)
You can fool some of the people most of the time, and
that's enough to make a decent living
29) Rule of Accounting
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not
everything that can be counted counts.
30) Rule of Wrong Lessons
If the student, friend or companion is not permitted or
encouraged to question; not permitted or encouraged to a
dialog; the principle lesson learned is indifference.
31) The Rule of Perception
Things are not as they seem, nor are they
otherwise...Lankavatara Sutra - Shakyamuni Buddha
32) The Point of Humor
Humor is the absence of terror, and terror is the absence
of humor.
Lord Buckley - Artist and RastaMan
33) Law of Lottery Logic
People who will swear that they will never, ever in their
entire life be struck by lightning are usually quite happy
to buy a lottery ticket.
34) The Law Regarding the Worth of Jewels
The price of character is often steep. The wise always try
to use what they have purchased.
35) Harrison's Axiom
Feelings are not facts.
36) Rule concerning Depth of the Dharma
"The Dharma is bigger and deeper than any of us idiots who
say we follow it."
37) Lillis' Corollary to Harrison's Axiom
The facts that result from feelings are often worth more
than the facts without feelings.
38) Rule of Napoleonic Generals
Never confuse wisdom with luck.
39) Law of Laughing Sages
Life is MUCH too important to be taken seriously!
40) Gift of Flower's Power
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our
children. One of these is roots; the other, wings.
Contributed by J.M.M. Age 3
41) Definition : LUDIOCRACY
When the idiots are running the bureaucracy/asylum.
Contributed by Rose Nersesian, based on life experiences
42) The Rule of Groucho
Never pass up a straight line, 'cause you never know when
you're liable to need one.
43) Upton's Axiom on Engineering
There comes a time in the life of every project when it is
necessary to shoot the engineers and go into production.
44) Harry Callahan's Rule
A man has got to know his own limitations.
45) Rule Regarding Mind Reading
If men and women were really capable of reading each
others' minds, most would be either too embarrassed or too
angry to ever face each other again
46) Harold E. Kohn's Rule
Brooks become crooked by following the path of least
resistance. So do people.
47) Rule of Statistical Revelation
Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is
suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. - Aaron
Levenstein
48) Galbraith's Rule of Choices
Faced with a choice between changing one's mind and proving
that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy
on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith
49) Lincoln's Criteria
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln
50) The Rule of Technology
The technology is easy, it's the politics that's hard.
51) Seneca's Note
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long,
although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly,
but within no man's power to live long. - Seneca (5BC -
65AD)
52) Wordge's Rule
Birds that flock together grow the same feathers.
53) Rule of Compassion
Hurting human beings is always our last resort. -Shi Shen
Long
54) e. e. cumming's Rule of Conquest
To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its
best night and day to make you everybody else - means to
fight the hardest battle any human being can fight; and
never stop fighting.-- e.e. cummings
55) The Rule Regarding Small Minds
When you find yourself the victim of other people's
bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember,
things could be worse - you could be them.
56) The Rule of rescue
Competence + Permission + Wherewithal = rescue
57) The Rule of Heinz
Never eat the "Trout Almondenne" at a place named "Joe's".
58) The Rule of HALT
When Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired, stop what you are
doing and take care of yourself. -Shi Shen Long
59) Ryugen's Rule of Buddhas
There are buddhas, and stupid buddhas. But we're all
buddhas.
60) Rule of PNM
When encountering people described in Rule 10, it is best
to Pay 'em No Mind. -Shi Shen Long
61) Rule of Veracity
People will believe a lie if they want it to be true or if
they are afraid that it is true.
62) Rule of Intent
The very best of intentions very often lead to the very
worst of results.
63) Rule of Dominance
Passion rules Reason.
64) Ryugen's Rule of Experience
Though our words are bound by our acculturation, our
experiences don't have to be.
65) Bohr's Rule of Truth
The opposite of a truth is an untruth. The opposite of a
Great Truth is often another Great Truth.
66) The Route 66 Rule - Topology Proliferates
There is more than one way to get to Chicago, there are
even more ways not to get to Chicago.
67) Wittgenstein's Rule of Language Games
"Are you saved?" really means "Are you one of me?"
68) Ryugen's Rule of Anarchy
One should not need laws to be a good neighbor.
69) Lennon's Law
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
70) The Four Fears
There are four types of fear. In descending order, they
are:
1. The fear of losing what you have.
2. The fear of acquiring what you don't want.
3. The fear of not getting what you want.
4. The fear of not losing what you don't want.
71) Karpman's Rule - The Drama Triangle
In any drama there are three and only three roles: Victim ,
Persecutor and Rescuer. Roles can shift in a matter of
moments, and any actor can take on any role. (Stephen B.
Karpman 1968)
72) Rule of Education
Remember that there is a difference between one's schooling
and one's education.
73) Komal's Rule of Undue Complaining
The Buddha said, "life is suffering." So...get over it!
74) Rule of Realism
Enlightenment does not equal perfection. Rather, it is the
simple acceptance of one's unique situation in this life,
as authenticated through rigorous self-honesty.
75) Rule of Buddhist Action
Cease to do harm. Do only good. Do good for others.
76) Rule of Acculturation
We are all limited by our cultural upbringing, and there is
not one person who is free from the acculturation process.
This is not a limitation but a natural reflection of
dependent origination. Just as human communication is
culturally mediated, fish must breathe through gills. I've
never met a fish audacious enough to proclaim, "we fish are
not truly bound by our gills in this world." Culture,
though malleable, is part and parcel of life as a human
being.
77) Rorty's Rule
Take care of freedom and truth will take care of itself.
(Richard Rorty, Pragmatist and CPB supporter)
78) The Machinists Rule
If you have the best machinist in the world, given a
complex task and a brand new lathe, he will spend at least
a day testing and setting up the lathe before he begins the
actual work. The 10,000th best machinist in the world will
perform the same tasks, i.e. learning about the tools and
how well they function before attempting the job, but it
might take him (or her) 4 or 5 days to install and test the
lathe. Give the same set of tools and tasks to someone who
knows NOTHING about machining and the first thing they will
do is pick up a piece of metal and try to fashion a
finished part.
79) The Crazy Question Day Rule
Given the situation above (Rule 78) the NEXT thing the
non-machinist will do is call "Customer Support" and
complain that the lathe is defective.
80) The Rule about Moving Gibraltar
In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome,
stubbornness is stupidity - Simone de Beauvior
81) The Rule of Actions
An action presupposes a motivation, a motivation
presupposes a goal. There are no random or unintended
behaviors, but there are many unacknowledged and/or
unadmitted goals - Fred Kennedy
82) An Observation About Crabs
After you put more than a few crabs in the basket, you
don't need a lid on it. The ones at the bottom pull the
ones on their up and out back down to the bottom as they
try to climb up and out over them. Endlessly. Unfortulately
people tend to do the same thing. - Shi Shen Long
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87) The Rule Regarding the Choice of a Worthy Opponent
The problem with getting into a mudslinging match with a
pig is that although you both get covered with mud, the pig
will enjoy it.
88) The Rule On Perpetuation of Ignorance
"There is a principle which is a bar against all
information, which is a proof against all argument, and
which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting
ignorance-that principle is condemnation before
investigation." (Herbert Spencer)
89)
90) Forbes' Rule
"It is much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know
too much about the problem."
- Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990)
91) Rule Regarding Insight
"Knowing others is Power, knowing self is Wisdom. Power
without wisdom rarely if ever leads to beneficial results."
- Shi Shen Long (Chan/Zen Buddhist Monk 1947-2006)
92) Hanlon's Razor
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately
explained by stupidity.
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97) Rule of Relative Humor
"I would laugh too if he wasn't mine"(Wife when she saw her
husband drunk on the street in the middle of the day.)
98)
99) The Real-Value Triangle
Good - Fast - Cheap::: Pick TWO!
100) The Rule of Probable Value
If you are very, very careful, and very, very lucky
sometimes you will actually get what you paid
for.
